"This only is certain, that there is nothing certain; and nothing more miserable and yet more arrogant than man."

"No mortal man, moreover is wise at all moments."

"In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain."

"In comparing various authors with one another, I have discovered that some of the gravest and latest writers have transcribed, word for word, from former works, without making acknowledgment."

"Why is it that we entertain the belief that for every purpose odd numbers are the most effectual?"

"The only certainty is that nothing is certain."

"Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it, and that a very severe one."

"While we are postponing, life speeds by."

"KORAN, n. A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures."

"I'll walk where my own nature would be leading; it vexes me to choose another guide."

"Between eigtheen and twenty, life is like an exchange where one buys stocks, not with money, but with actions. Most men buy nothing."

"When in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns."